Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – April 15, 2004
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – April 15, 2004 – In the Tarot deck, The Hermit is one of twenty-two Major Arcana cards, whose illustrations represent different stages or rites of passage in a person’s life journey. I have drawn The Hermit a number of times in recent weeks and perhaps this is a message to which I should be paying attention.
The Hermit appears when it’s time to spend some time alone, perhaps in contemplation of one’s life or to think about personal growth or inner counselling. It may be a time to withdraw from all that is hectic in life, to be quiet and patient as one seeks wisdom and a sense of one’s strengths and limitations.
I started this year with a great flourish of activity, a sense of looking outward to the world and an expectation of achieving on many levels – business, personally, physically and emotionally. Right now I’m exhausted and more than a bit discouraged. Other than connecting with my clients which is a practical everyday necessity, I don’t feel much like interacting with other people – not even friends. I’m not sure whether this is a mild case of “the blues” or if I’m simply in need of a serious rest.
I haven’t had a vacation in almost four years and I feel depleted. Trying to get over this unpleasant cold hasn’t helped and my work has been incredibly frustrating over the last five to six weeks. This may be a factor. I feel a strong need to withdraw from things of late. I keep trying to understand this and fight it, but perhaps instead I should just accept it. I worry that I just can’t be bothered socializing any more, that I’ve given up interacting with life and am just accepting my world as it is. This is all it will ever be. That would make me sad.
Being a person who is used to doing, making things happen and having amazing amounts of energy – this lethargy is unpleasant and out of my control. I don’t like it at all. This is where I need to stop for long enough to think about what is happening to me, then be quiet, go within and simply relax.
It’s okay to withdraw for a while. Where is it written that I can’t spend time alone if I choose to do so? Trying to live up to the expectations of the rest of the world is a sure fire road to unhappiness. I have no agenda other than my own and no need to explain my life to anyone else.
So I think I’ll sit with The Hermit for awhile and start to know myself all over again. I have a feeling I’m going to like a lot of what I see and be willing to work on the rest – but at a pace that is my own – not one dictated by others.
The Hermit doesn’t have a timetable and if he has seen as much of life as I think he has, he’ll probably be a good guide. If you’re feeling at all like I am, then take breather and lie low for awhile. It can’t hurt and I’m betting it will help.