Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 20, 2004
The Empress of Excuses
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – August 20, 2004 – That’s me! I can come up with an excuse for every hour of the day, every day of the week and every week of the year. There is no getting past me if I don’t want to do something. Now if I “have” to do something, that’s another story altogether.
I’ll do it to the best of my ability (usually) but not without complaint or grimace. My long-suffering friends have to listen to me gripe and bitch before I have to head off to perform said “dreaded duty” – usually work related. Excuses don’t work with clients and I know what side my bread is buttered on – business is business.
Excuses do work with friends and family, but the worst ones of all, the insidious ones, are the little devils I use on myself. I have “one million” of them. They rear their ugly heads at every turn and I allow them to alter my life. I don’t know about you but these are some of my best ones:
I’m too old.
I’m too tired.
I just can’t do it – you simply don’t understand.
I can’t change my negative thinking.
I don’t deserve good things.
I’m afraid and I can’t do it on my own.
I know good things happen to other people – but not to me.
I’ve already tried everything.
I’m just not creative enough.
I can’t stand up to other people.
I can’t change my rigid thinking.
I’ve always been a perfectionist – it’s just the way I am.
I can’t lose “the menopausal pounds” – it’s my metabolism.
I don’t have time to exercise.
I can’t take a vacation alone.
I just don’t want to do that.
I can’t afford it.
I’m not attractive anymore.
I won’t bother to call – it’s probably too late.
I’ll never meet another great guy.
I can’t go out alone.
I’m too shy – anxious – panic stricken and and so on! (fill in any word you like).
It is his or her fault.
It’s his or her turn.
I’m not really happy – but I’m okay the way I am.
I can’t because of my childhood angst.
I’m not loveable etcetera (again – fill in more words of your choosing).
I can’t go on with this project because he or she didn’t like it.
I’ll never reach my goals – so why bother to try.
I’ve let all my dreams die and I’m too old for new ones.
I’m not going to bother going out because I won’t have a good time.
It won’t work for me – I’ve already tried once.
Do any of these things sound familiar? Of course they don’t because “everyone” reading these pages is well-adjusted, successful, excuse-free happy and free from negativity and anxiety. Perhaps I need therapy. Oh yeah – hummm – I’ve already had treatment. Can you imagine what I was like before therapy? I make light of this because I can cope (therapy term) with almost anything when I can laugh about it.
What I do know is that “state of mind/attitude” is everything. It allows me to go on when I’m feeling defeated by the myriad “bad things” I encounter in my life. It buoys me up when I think I can’t go on. It contributes to my strength, self-esteem, patience, faith, grace, gratitude and self-love. It is “all”. I need to learn to look my excuses in the face and say “Not today – you take your best shot – but I’m movin’ on”. What a liberating experience that would be.
Years ago, a man I worked with who had severe muscular dystrophy, said to me – “I keep going in spite of this illness because I have no other choice. I made a decision when I got sick that I would rather live one year as a tiger than fifty years as a chicken”. (That may be a Chinese proverb).
John was always positive, helpful, funny, hard-working, encouraging, diligent and kind. I know he had bad times and painful days. He was once away from the office for a month when his disease was out of remission – but when he came back – he was still a tiger.
I worked with him for a year when I was in my twenties, then never saw him again. Whenever I think of him I still remember the beauty of his optimism. In spite of his deteriorating health, he understood life, and he accepted no excuses. Time for me to leave behind this “chicken living” and search out a “tiger”
