Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – February 23, 2004
Tools
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – February 23, 2004 – I like tools. I like a guy with tools and a tool belt. There is something oddly comforting and reassuring about a man who knows how to use tools.
I remember when 1999 was in its death throes and Y2K was on everyone’s mind. Our friend Mark announced that he wanted to spend the evening at my brother’s house, because he figured if everything shut down and there was anarchy in the streets of Toronto, Eric would know what to do or how to fix it!
I grew up in a family where my father could do anything. He was both a pattern maker and a machinist. If you’d given him a power drill and a tree he could have built a house. As boys, my brothers spent endless hours with him in his workshop learning how to work with tools. I hung out with him too at every opportunity.
As a kid I built bird houses and learned to work on a wood lathe. I liked the band saw, rip saw, jointer, milling machine, lathes and drill press. I loved to sit and watch my dad make things and fix things. He was amazing, there wasn’t anything he couldn’t do. He was a true artisan.
My dad had amazing tools – beautifully maintained, oiled, sharp, accurate and always ready to use. He had hammers, big drills, small drills, chisels, files, calipers, routers, rulers, screw drivers of every persuasion, vices for wood, vices for steel, pliers, wrenches, measuring gauges, glue pots, a fabulous aged shellac pot, hand held wood saws of every imaginable size and hacksaws.
He looked after his tools with enthusiasm and incredible pride. It was lovely to watch him pick the tool he needed, use it for specific purpose and then put it back in its proper place. He made his own tool boxes, – beautiful pine chests with mitred corners and brass corner fittings and locks. They were always kept in mint condition. I have one of my father’s tool boxes and also my grandfather’s tool chest and they are prized possessions. I use my dad’s tool chest as a coffee table in my den. I think of him often when I’m in that room, reading or watching television.
We expect men to have tools. But what about us – the fairer sex. I for one am a woman of many tools. I have a small green tin tool box with a label on the front that says ‘My Buddy’. Not bad eh? In it I have a claw hammer – (I’ve always wished I’d kept my dad’s small ball peen hammer), needle-nose pliers, regular pliers, flat and square headed screw drivers of various sizes, a punch, a cold chisel, an awl, wire cutters, a couple of small files, an adjustable wrench, a measuring tape, a medium sized C-clamp, and a set of Allen wrenches. I also have a cross-cut saw and a hacksaw.
I attempt to do most things around the house that don’t require a handyman. I’m always up for re-wiring a lamp, fixing a broken chair leg, hanging pictures, putting up a small shelf, tightening up loose screws, installing a doorbell and hanging garden brackets. I don’t throw up my hands in a fit of girlish despair, or swoon on the chaise lounge, until I’ve tried the task at hand. I have no patience with women and “learned helplessness”.
I know all to well when I’m in over my head and am more than happy to call in the professionals. It’s great to try new things and I always feel rather smug when I do a ‘man thing’ and succeed beyond my wildest expectations. That’s heel-clicking off to Kansas time for me!
If you don’t already own some tools, spend an afternoon at Home Depot or Canadian Tire and buy some. You just need the basics to start your collection. Then you can add as you learn more. Try some projects around the house. You’ll feel incredibly accomplished when you finish an odd job or two and it’s an absolute thrill to be able to say, “Oh that, no I didn’t have to call the electrician – I hung the chandelier myself”.
But watch out, you may end up buying books on all sorts of things, from installing ceramic tile to plumbing the kitchen sink. You’ll know you’re hooked when you cancel your subscription to Cosmopolitan and start to buy books with titles like Every Man’s Guide To Tools. When all is said and done and you’re stuck on an old dirt road at midnight in a broken down car – who you rather see – a man with a tool belt or a suave and dapper Dan in a suit?
I have a feeling that when it comes time to slay the dragon – or ward off an invasion of monsters from outer space – that the guy with the tools may have an edge!
