Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – February 6, 2004
Over-Whelmed
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – February 6, 2004 – I had such amazing intentions this year, to manage my work life with my clients so I would be assisting them to the best of my ability, while still feeling that I had time for myself. It’s only the first week of February and I’m thinking ‘lethal thoughts’ – really, really lethal thoughts. Thoughts with weapons!
My week has been too busy and I feel as if I have nothing to show for it – which isn’t exactly true. I’ve made a lot of progress with a number of things – but in the doing – there has been no time for me. Add to that the pressure I put on myself to adhere to my health and work-out routine and my commitment to my daily writing and I’m about over the top! Over-whelmed.
How lovely to be under-whelmed or simply ‘whelmed’. But the thing is, if this experience is to be productive – I must get to the root of this feeling of depletion. So I need to examine my week and see what happened. How did I spend my time? Did I take breaks for lunch and say ‘enough’ at the end of the day? What time did I go to bed? Did I do anything that was really enjoyable? Was my time used just for others?
It doesn’t take long to figure out that I’m still not putting enough thought and care into how I manage my days. I know why I feel over-whelmed. I’m a single, working woman. The buck stops with me. Failure to produce results is not an option. I’m responsible for everything that happens in my personal and professional life. There is no one with whom to share chores and errands. If I don’t go grocery shoping there is no food in the house.
I do the pet care, banking, car maintenance, garden and yard work, snow shovelling, laundry, ironing, cooking and dishes. I do have the luxury of having someone to clean my house – but for many years I just added that task on to all the others that I did. Then just to top off the week – I work 6-7 days and at least 2-3 evenings as well. It’s no wonder I’m cranky.
I have absolutely no idea how single women with two or three children and a full time job manage to keep their lives and those of their children together. If I had to add kids and their school work to the load I would break under the strain. My hat is off to all working women!
Now that I’ve had a look at the source of my tension (at my yearly physical last month my doctor told me that my health was excellent but that I needed to watch out for stress because I wasn’t managing my life well in that area – how could she tell?) – I need to look for some practical solutions. Making lists is always helpful to me, so here are my thoughts on how to make some progress in managing these helpless feelings of being overwhelmed.
For starters on those day when I feel like weeping with fatigue and frustration – I need to go ahead and cry. There is nothing more cathartic than a tear-stained face and a good wail.
House cleaning – Resolved.
Summer gardening – Resolved. Pay a neighbour who loves to garden.
Grocery shopping – Shop for groceries on a smaller scale more often so it doesn’t seem like such an onerous task. Stop eating? No.
Exercise – Have a more relaxed approach. A little a day is better than none. Each work-out doesn’t need to be an hour long to have a positive impact.
Lunch break – Do not eat in my office at my computer.
Dinner – Plan a proper meal and eat in the kitchen or den.
Work hours – My schedule is erratic but I spend too much time in my office. Block off time to relax if I’m working at night.
Writing – Try to spend time during the day on my writing so it doesn’t seem like “just another chore” to finish at the end of the day. Perhaps an hour in the morning would be good. I’ll try that.
Snow shovelling – Hire a neighbourhood kid who needs some extra money.
Bedtime – Go to bed earlier. I’m not getting enough sleep.
Clients – I may need to turn down some business so I have more time for myself. Say “no” more often without explanation.
Social Life – I need to make week-end plans.
Well this is a good start. I always feel better if I look at a problem and try to come up with some solutions that will work for me. I simply need to get back on track. I need and deserve at least a day off a week – but it’s up to me to make that happen.
I’m grateful to be thinking this through to a logical conclusion. I’m the only person who can make changes in my life and I feel better already for taking back my power. Anyone can do this – it’s a choice. Not always an easy one – but a choice nonetheless!
