Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 15, 2004
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – July 15, 2004 – Okay – enough. Life is full of disappointments, trials and betrayal. We all have difficulties to endure. They may be emotional, financial, physical or of a spiritual nature, or they may be related to career, health, relationships or family matters. No one goes through life unscathed. My life is no exception and my challenges have been numerous, often painful and life changing.
However in comparison to the problems faced by the majority of people in the world – mine hardly make the scale. I have wonderful friends, a loving supportive family, all the toys I could ever want or use in life, a lovely home, a great car and a bank account with some extra dollars in it for a rainy day.
I don’t have a significant romantic relationship but I’m not sure I’m really looking for one. If the “Fates” place me in contact with someone wonderful that will be a bonus. So, why you may ask do I feel depleted and empty a lot of the time? I think it has to do with a few areas of my life. I don’t nurture my soul on a daily basis, I’m grateful for my life but I don’t think on a deep enough level and I’m in need of something in my life that generates real passion.
My life didn’t follow the familiar path of marriage and children and at times I wonder how different it might have been if those things had happened. I don’t dwell on this, but I feel it when I see big family gatherings with kids and grandchildren and then I sometimes still wonder.
However, big picture, my life is good and it would be the envy of people the world over who have nothing. It’s possible to settle into a model of living where habitual complaining, dissatisfaction and lack become the norm. Where it’s easy to dwell on the negative and forget to embrace the positive. That’s what has happened to me over the last couple of weeks and it’s time to let the negativity go.
There aren’t demons around every corner and a boogeyman under my bed. If I had a truly grateful heart I’d accept the things over which I have no control with more grace and less resistance. Hanging on to the anger I feel towards others exhausts my energy and depletes my inner resources. It consumes my life force.
I’ve had a bout of regret, recrimination, anger and self-pity. There is so much more to life than this and my woes are paltry in comparison to the sorrows of the world. It’s time for me to let this dismay at the behaviour of others go and allow my heart to soften.
Some compassion for myself and others wouldn’t be amiss and I need to do more with the life I’ve been given. I have skills and talents that aren’t used to their fullest and I could make a greater contribution than I do to other less fortunate. I’ve allowed myself to become emotionally and physically depleted as of late and it’s time to recognize that I need a rest and to make time for one. When I do, the whining will take care of itself.
P.S. – Who knew that in 2006 – in a chance encounter – that I would start to learn about animal global issues. That would lead to my animal blog – www.abeatingheart.ca – and my life would never be the same again. When passion calls …