Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – March 17, 2004
Frustration
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – March 17, 2004 – Just when I thought I might be getting a handle on staying in my “calm centre” – and not allowing other people or situations over which I have no control – to drive me absolutely bonkers, along comes a day like this one.
What happened today is not relevant – the way I reacted is important. I try to look objectively at the decisions that other people make and not allow their ‘stupidity’ to impact my life, but on occasion it’s impossible. I ask myself – why is this so? Why can’t I simply say – “Well you certainly are entitled to your opinion – call me if it ever changes, goodbye”.
Instead I have images of myself delivering the perfect karate chop to the particular simpleton in question and then jumping up and down on his head for awhile. A total pulverization! Whew – that felt good.
Perhaps (and I’m just making a supposition here) – it’s because I’m a very rational, sensible thinker with a high degree of common sense. So to put me within striking distance of an idiot, is not good. That said, I know I will always come in contact with people, both professionally and socially, with whom I disagree, and who are in a position to make my life miserable for a period of time.
That’s life. So why am I the one with a twist in my neck and a knot in my stomach? I don’t own a goat and yet these people routinely take my Billy out for a walk. Have you ever noticed how idiots come along, drop into your world for ten minutes, stir up the cauldron, smile sweetly, gauge your reaction, try to make you think you’re the one whose behaviour is amiss, blame you outright, smile sweetly again, then skip blithely off to ruin someone else’s day?
However – any way you look at it – I’m the one with the problem. It takes two to tango (unless there is a new single tango I don’t know about), and somehow I rise to the bait and buy into the idiocy. How to avoid this is the million dollar question. I need to ponder awhile, but I’ll be back.
Well, I’ve just had dinner with my brother Eric, and I discussed my momentary loss of judgement and my spiral downward into a reactionary pit of despair with him. His solution is to realize that if the other person is the perpetrator of idiocy, to place the responsibility where it belongs and walk away. I know he’s right, but I wonder why it’s still bothering me all these hours later.
Having had time to reflect – (and a couple glasses of good vino) – I know why I’m bothered. I would not conduct myself in this manner. However I’m tied to the circumstances and I have no influence over the outcome. Light bulb moment. I need to distance myself and let go of things that I can’t control. I must remember my personal “calm centre” (some people call it their happy place) and expend my energy where it matters.
My only true sphere of influence is with me. Forget the rest. I feel better already!
