Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – October 23, 2004
The Bearer Of Bad News
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – October 23, 2004 – I had a meeting today with a new client. She may or may not want to make a move, but part of the process of making a wise decision about real estate is to look at all your options. Once you know what is possible, you can move ahead and make plans.
In this particular instance, the news I had to deliver to her wasn’t good. A decision she made a couple of years ago, with advice from a man who did not have her best interests at heart, wasn’t a well-informed one. Because of this her home investment, while providing her with a nice place to live, has proven to be in danger. If it sounds too good to be true – it probably is just that and more!
It’s difficult to sit with a person and witness first hand such a deep sense of disappointment. Money decisions, especially if they’ve been bad ones, hit us at many levels. Poor money management, especially when we’ve been an unwitting contributor to our own financial demise, can make us feel stupid, resentful, bewildered, defeated and angry. However it’s like a challenge in any area of our lives. If we can look at the overall situation and then break it down it its component parts, we can tackle them one at a time.
In this instance, I suggested a chat with a financial advisor, the preparation of an intelligent budget and a month long monitoring of every penny spent. It’s essential to know where money is going to determine a way to curtail spending. Impulse spending, especially if you can’t afford the drain on your financial resources can be an addiction. The brief “high” of the acquisition is usually followed by guilt and shame.
Money is an essential part of living. It’s attainment is necessary to pay bills, buy food, get to and from work, travel, contribute to our families and have a sense of who we are in the world. Whether we like it or not it’s one of the yardsticks we use to measure success in our lives. That’s the way life is. So while I had to disappoint this person, I hope I left her with some ideas for improving her financial health.
Part of the problem lay with the woman – let’s call her Sally. She was trusting of someone who definitely didn’t care about her – a silver tongued salesman, and she made decisions without sufficient information. The man who took advantage of her investment innocence was a heinous person. Buying real estate is the biggest investment most of us ever make and we do so with the hope that it will accrue in value and become part of a successful financial portfolio.
When Sally bought her home, with another agent – she overpaid by a significant amount of money – in a bidding war. She hasn’t been able to build equity because the current value of her property is much less than she paid for it two and a half years ago. All she can do it be patient and get her finances under control.
The man who convinced her to buy her house deliberately took advantage of her. He has to look at himself in the mirror every day. He may not consciously feel any sense of responsibility for what he did. “Buyer beware” is an old adage. However, at some level, he knows what sort of human being he is.
We always know inside when we’re being hurtful, dishonest, unkind, deceitful and amoral. Sally may never personally see the turn of the screw in the life of this man, but it will come. Whether we like to admit it or not – it matters how we treat others. When we’re on the receiving end of such behaviour, it’s a good idea to acknowledge the hurt, disappointment and sense of betrayal, get really angry for a period of time and then let it go.
I know this isn’t easy – I tend to hang on to hurt for a long time – but I know it’s only damaging to me. It’s important not to lose a sense of trust in life and in other people. As tempting as it is to plot revenge, it’s not necessary – life has a way of coming full circle and those who take advantage of others will eventually face the music and pay the piper. It’s just unfortunate that in most cases we don’t get to see it happen!
